Happy Birthday Maxwell Gucci!

  

Today, my first nephew, Maxwell Robert Kirkland, turns one year old.  

Dear Gucci, I can't believe that you are one year old already!  I know that sounds trite and I apologize for the lack of originality, but it is absolutely the truth.  How has a year gone by since I got the call from my sister that you were on your way... on your way to getting your noggin stuck in her pelvic bone that is.  I remember getting in the car with your Uncle Tim and driving from L.A. to Las Vegas to meet you.  We got stuck in ridiculous traffic outside of Baker, C.A. because you had to be born on a Friday and that's when EVERYONE drives from L.A. to Vegas.  It was worth it though.  I remember coming into the hospital and seeing you through the nursery window and just knowing that it was you and that you were a part of our family.  You looked so much like your mama (my sister) when you were born.  You had these perfect chubby cheeks.  I loved you instantly.  While it sucks a lot that we live so far away from each other, I have had so much fun interacting with you on Skype.  You love to smash the keyboard keys and try to pull the plug out of the computer which frustrates your mom to no end.  Thanks to the magic of Skype, I got to see you go through so many milestones including when you first started walking.  When you were younger, your mama used to set the laptop in your crib with you so I could watch you wake up.  You really are an amazing baby and I am so proud of your parents for how well they are raising you.  Your Uncle Tim and I wish so badly that we could be there with you guys to celebrate your first birthday, but our doctor doesn't want us traveling that far when I'm this far along in our pregnancy.  We love you so much.  We miss you.  We hope you have a great birthday and get to eat some really yummy cake.  

Love Aunt Melissa (and Uncle Tim)  

Friday's Letters

Dear Tim, I love you.  I am so grateful for you and our marriage.  Thank you for everything that you do.  Seriously, you are the bestest.  Dear Grey's Anatomy, As if I wasn't already scared enough about the possibility of having a c section, you didn't help at all with last night's episode.  Dear Grandma and Grandpa, Thank you so much for the sweet surprises last night: our pack n play, a month's supply of diapers, baby laundry detergent, and pack n play sheets.  It was so unexpected and so nice of you.  Dear Baby Stuff, You are taking over our apartment!  It's kind of wonderful.  :]  Dear Baby Mather, your Daddy and I love you so much.  Really, it's incredible how much we love you.  Dear Insomnia, Please resolve yourself.  After a week of being up until 4 or 5 and sleeping until noon or 1, I'm over it.  Dear Childbirth / Parenting Classes, Tim and I are having so much fun at you.  The first two classes were about early labor and active labor and last night's class was about newborn care.  We were given a baby doll to hold on to the entire class like a real baby.  I picked a large baby with an ink spot on it's face.  It seemed the most realistic choice.  Dear Baby Mather, Sorry in advance, but I suck at diapering.  Dear Hubby Bubby, I'm sorry that the drama train just keeps on rolling through.  Let's just side step it and holla at the DJ.  Oh yeah and don't you ever forget that I love you and I'm on your team.  Forever and A Day.  

Linking up with Ashley here.  

First Trimester Essentials

The first trimester of pregnancy can be really rough for a lot of people.  I honestly feel like I got off easy with morning sickness compared to some of my friends and family members, but it was still a tough few months.  These are the things that helped me get through the first 13 weeks and 3 days of our pregnancy.

1. Preggie Pops - These lollipops were lifesavers when it came to nausea and I had to be out of the house.  They come in really weird flavors like ginger and lavender, as well as more traditional flavors like lemon and orange.  They are all pretty sour which really helped settle my stomach.  

2.  Saltines - This is pretty self explanatory, but when not much else wants to stay down in your system, saltines are wonderful.  Dry and salty, they were the perfect thing to munch on when hypoglycemia was just making morning sickness worse.  

3.  Water - Seriously, water is so important in pregnancy.  Not only is it essential for your baby and for the production and refreshment of amniotic fluid, it also is necessary to keep you, the mama, feeling well.  When you're vomiting a lot, water (or gatorade) is essential to keep you from getting dehydrated.  For some reason, the Arrowhead water with the sports top was the easiest for me to drink.  

4.  Altoids - Another way for me to ward of nausea.  I distinctly remember being in Oregon with Tim for one of his speaking engagements, waiting for an elevator, when all of a sudden it hit me, "I am going to puke right now... all over the floor of this four star hotel."  One altoid hastily shoved in my mouth got rid of that sensation almost instantaneously.   

5.  Peppermint tea -  By far the best thing I came across.  Tim actually had the idea for me to drink some on a day when I was so sick that I couldn't stop crying.  As long as I was sipping on a big steaming cup of Celestial Seasonings peppermint tea, I felt almost human again.  It was astonishing.  *Make sure to look for a tea that is just peppermint, as other herbs and spices can be bad for pregnancy.  

6.  Gummy chewable prenatal vitamins - I use the Target brand of prenatals and have overall been pretty happy with them so far.  I already have a hard time swallowing pills, so finding chewable prenatals was a big thing for me.  

7.  A book about pregnancy - "What To Expect When You're Expecting" has been our guide through pregnancy, but I've also heard really good things about The Mayo Clinic's Guide to Pregnancy.  Which ever book you choose, I believe you need one, especially if you're a first time mom.  There's so many things happening with your body and you will have so many questions that it's really handy to just have a go to reference guide in between doctor appointments.  

8.  Season one of New Girl - Tim surprised me with this early on in the pregnancy and it really helped me get through the days where I was sick and / or exhausted.  Any tv show that can take your mind off of what you're feeling and help distract you is going to make those days go by faster when you're laying on the couch practically in a puddle of your own drool, counting down the days until the second trimester.  

*Please note that the information above is just what worked for me.  I am in no way a medical professional and this is in no way medical advice.  Always consult your physician before starting any new supplements.  

What helped you through the first trimester?  Feel free to add any suggestions in the comments!  

Involving Your Partner In Your Pregnancy

Once we found out about our pregnancy, I knew that I wanted Tim to be involved as much as possible.  Luckily for me, he felt the same way.  I had read articles that said that oftentimes your partner will feel left out during pregnancy because he/ she isn't the one who is carrying the child, the majority of the attention isn't on them, and let's face it, they become a major support system who, from what I've seen, doesn't always get the support they need.

I never want Tim to feel like that.  Our marriage comes first in our lives, and while we realize that pregnancy and someday parenthood will alter how that looks sometimes, it really is a core value that we share.

One of the biggest things that helped me keep Tim involved was, during the first trimester, we told very few people about the pregnancy.  Our superiors at work knew, because of the time off that we needed, and a select few friends that we really trust were told when my morning sickness was going to give it away.  (Here's where we owe a big shout out to Hannah and Matt for keeping our secret for about 14 weeks!)  Since we didn't tell our family members, or our best friends, we really only had each other, and our doctors, to confide in.  This meant that when we talked about the pregnancy and Baby Mather, it was mostly to each other.  We opened up about our hopes, our fears, our feelings in general toward the entire situation.  It was (mostly) our little secret, and it really brought us closer together.

Another way that Tim has stayed involved is that he has been to every single doctor's appointment.  Every ER visit (there have been 2 so far), every Labor and Delivery visit (there's also been 2 of these so far), every ob appointment, every blood draw, perinatologist appointment, every childbirth class so far, the hospital tour, he even went with me the day after Christmas to get four skin biopsies done. (not pregnancy related, but still... that man has seen the inside of a lot of doctor's offices lately.)  Since Tim has been there since the first ER visit and subsequent blood draws to confirm the pregnancy, he has gotten the chance to see Baby Mather grow from just a number on a piece of paper (first HcG reading:  110 at about 13 or 14 days past ovulation) to a gestational sac and a yolk sac, to a fetal pole, to a bouncing gummy bear look alike, to the anatomy scan.  He was there the first time we saw the heartbeat, heard the heartbeat, saw the baby moving around on the sonogram, and through all of the testing.  He is already watching his baby grow up.

When we started to pick out baby gear, I got him involved.  We bought the book, Baby Bargains (highly recommend), and he started researching things with me.  When we went to register, we spent hours in Babies R Us choosing strollers, the car seat, the pack n play, etc.  With the exception of the breast pump, pretty much every decision has been made as a team.  When it came to nursery decor, he had a say in the crib, the changing table, the paint color, the bedding.  He built the stroller and the changing table and will be installing the car seat.  He has been such an active participant in everything that he can and Baby Mather and I are very lucky to have him.

Every day, I try to tell him how much I'm feeling the baby move (or not move), how I'm feeling, and I ask him how he's dealing with things.  We discuss our excitement, our anxieties, and the current state of our marriage.

And this man... he's been nothing short of fantastic.  He loves Baby Mather so much and makes it apparent all the time.  He reads to the baby, talks to the baby, plays music for the baby, and seems amazed by the baby's movements.  He's even reading a book about pregnancy...  when he's not falling asleep.

How did you involve your partner in your pregnancy?  

33 Weeks

How Far Along:  33 weeks  

Size of the Baby:  My handy little message board ticker tells me that Baby Mather is the size of a durian.   

Stretch Marks:  The belly is still looking clear of stretch marks, but it's definitely getting itchy at times.  

Weight Gain:  Not sure, probably still hovering around 6 lbs gained from pre pregnancy weight, about 16 lbs from the lowest weight I hit during this pregnancy.    

Sleep:  Sleep was better this week.  I worked three days, so I think that helped tire me out.  Still waking up a few times a night to pee, and my hips start to hurt from laying on my sides.     

Best Moment of the Week:  We got to hear Baby Mather's heartbeat on the doppler for a long time during an NST.  We are also loving feeling and seeing the baby's movements still.   

Belly Button In or Out:  Still in, but barely!      

Anything making you queasy or sick:  My gummy prenatals still make me go ick.    

Any cravings:  Mexican food and sweets.  

Wedding ring on or off:  Still on, but one morning this week, my wedding band felt tight and I had to soap up my finger to get it off.  It's been OK since then, though.   

What I'm looking forward to:  I really want to get everything together for the baby and finish the nursery.  Also, looking forward to the rest of our childbirth classes.  

What I miss:  Hot dogs, sleeping on my back without worrying, and not getting so warm so easily.       

Emotions:  I'm still loving being pregnant.  The symptoms are hard and annoying sometimes, but overall I just love being pregnant.  We love Baby Mather so much.  It was a hot week in L.A. (in the 90's!) and I felt so sweaty and warm the majority of the time.  When I feel overheated, I get grumpy.  

Nursery:  We bought the changing table and Tim built it last night!  I'm pretty excited about it.  We still have more work to do on the actual nursery though.         

How Tim is feeling:  "The past week was pretty standard with nothing major to report.  Baby Mather is getting bigger, as he/she should, and the movements are getting stronger.  It's still so crazy when BM pushes back against my hand or cheek.  I like to think he/she is giving me high fives."  

32 Weeks

Keeping it real with the bare baby belly and the pajamas  

How Far Along:  32 weeks  

Size of the Baby:  My handy little message board ticker tells me that Baby Mather is the size of a squash.  

Stretch Marks:  Still none on my abdomen, maybe one on the underside of one of my breasts, but I'm not sure because I've never had stretch marks before so I'm not sure exactly what they look like.  The belly is still clear though, although very veiny looking.  We stopped using the belly butter as we got lazy, L.A. got hot, and every doctor, doula, etc. has told me that they are genetic so no amount of cream is going to prevent them, only help with the itching.  

Weight Gain:  At our last appointment I hadn't gained any weight since our 30 week appointment, maybe a few ounces, but the actual poundage was the same, so I'd say I'm up about 6 lbs from my pre pregnancy weight, which is also about 16 pounds up from the lowest I weighed in this pregnancy after I lost ten pounds to no longer drinking alcohol and morning sickness.    

Sleep:  Sleep sucked this week.  I started having pregnancy insomnia.  I didn't work this week or the last and I don't know if I did it to myself or if my body is training itself but I couldn't get tired enough to fall asleep until 4 AM and then I would sleep until 12 noon or so.  Every night around 2:30 -3 AM, I would have to pee multiple times, like so bad to the point that I just sat on the toilet for an hour because I got sick of getting up.  It was small amounts but the urge was really constant.  I also had really bad anxiety in the middle of the night.    

Best Moment of the Week:  We had our shower on Saturday the 27th.  It was wonderful.  

Belly Button In or Out:  Still in, but barely.  I'm actually getting excited for it to maybe pop out so I can deep clean it.  I know, I'm weird, but my sister and I both have very deep, cavernous belly buttons when not pregnant and I had a laparoscopy when I was 16, where they went through my belly button to remove an ovarian cyst and so now I have belly button hang ups and I just want to scrub the heck out of that sucker if it pops all the way out.     

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Occasionally, I'll get morning sickness feeling in the afternoons again... just like first trimester but not as bad so far.     

Any cravings:  Mexican food, and an In N' Out cheeseburger craving started again on Friday which is weird because I've been having a red meat aversion practically the whole pregnancy.  

Wedding ring on or off:  Still on!  

What I'm looking forward to:  I'm actually getting anxious for Baby Mather to get here.  I know he or she needs to stay in there for another 5-10 weeks but I have moments where I want to hold this baby in my arms, which at the same time, I'm trying to savor every moment of this pregnancy because I know I'm going to miss being pregnant and carrying this baby with me every second of every day.  Other than that, I really liked our first childbirth preparation class so I'm looking forward to the rest of that series of classes as well.  

What I miss:  Starting to really miss beer.  Maybe it's the nice weather outside, but I've been craving a Pacifico with lime.  Still missing hot dogs and being able to sleep on my back without worrying.       

Emotions:  I'm still loving being pregnant.  The symptoms are hard and annoying sometimes, but overall I just love being pregnant.  We love Baby Mather so much.  I've been quicker to cry and get angry this week, but I feel like the lack of sleep has something to do with it.  

Nursery:  We picked out some fabric for me to make a crib skirt out of.  Honestly, we've been slacking on the nursery because we've been so busy on our weekends, and we really need to get it ready.         

How Tim is feeling:  "It's been a very busy week, not only for BM, but for us as well.  Between doctor appointments and parenting classes, plus our baby shower, it's been pretty hectic, but through it's all worth it for BM. I'm super excited as we near the due date, but I must admit I'm still a little freaked out.  There's a lot of responsibility coming our way and while I don't doubt we can and will handle it, it's just a little overwhelming at times.  No matter what, I really can't wait to be a father."  

Baby Mather's Beautiful Baby Shower

A few hours after Tim and I announced the news of our pregnancy to my side of the family on Christmas morning, my little sister told us that she wanted to throw us our baby shower.  I was so touched by her generosity and how quickly she offered.  She already loved our baby so much and had only known about Baby Mather for a matter of hours.  I hesitantly agreed, because I'm not a big have parties in my honor kind of person.  But, I do love the idea of having all of our favorite people together at the same time which so rarely happens these days as everyone has their own lives and lives all over the place.  I also love the idea of our baby being celebrated because I believe that Baby Mather deserves that.  

She asked me for a guest list, which I really appreciated because it meant that a lot of people I don't know wouldn't get invited, and what kind of food I wanted.  After that, it was out of my hands.  

Can I just say, my sister came through in a big big way.  She knew that I wanted an intimate party experience, casual, but classy, and a lot of fun.  She did amazing.  

The shower was held outside at our grandparents' house on a small, but beautiful section of their gorgeous five acre property.  It was a sunny and mild day.  Round tables were adorned with different colored tablecloths in a pastel color palette.  Mason jars filled with alstroemeria arrangements sat as the centerpieces surrounded by little favor bags that held sweets and treats inside of them.  (Alstroemeria, also called the Peruvian lily, is one of my favorite flowers.  My grandfather, after retiring from Hughes aircraft, started growing them, among other flowers, in our backyard in massive greenhouses and selling them to wholesalers.  A great way to make money for him and my grandma, and lucky me got to grow up in a home with bouquets of fresh flowers like these every single day.  They are so gorgeous, vibrant, and remind me of my childhood.)  

Brooke strung multi colored streamers from the trees, baby shower banners on the hedges, and just transformed the space.  

I'm not huge on corny shower games, so Brooke decided to just do a few games and let the majority of the time spent at the shower be used for mingling, eating, and just generally hanging out with each other catching up.  

The games we did play were the clothespin game (ongoing through the shower where you can't say the word "baby" and when you do, your pin gets taken away), baby shower bingo, guess the size of my baby belly, make a diaper out of toilet paper, and the now infamous balloon game.  

During the balloon game, you have to see how many inflated balloons you can fit under your shirt.  I'm pretty sure that the point of this game is for it to end up looking like a baby belly, but my friends took it to another level.  

The diaper fashion show was also a big hit.  After they constructed their diapers, Tim and I had them "sell" them to us to help us pick who should win.  

Nicole (above) claimed that her diaper had superior support for those big loads.  

Kasey, my little brother, (above) had his girlfriend, Kelsea fashion him a thong style diaper with a removable bow.  He ended up being the winner.  Tim thought the bow was a nice touch.  

Seth sported an "eco friendly" diaper that didn't cover any part of the body that you would expect a diaper to cover.  He claimed that this way, you would use less diapers.  Haha.  

It was hilarious.  

One of the highlights of the shower for me was the food.  When Brooke had asked what kind of food I wanted at the shower, (she did this, btw, because I've been having some weird food aversions during this pregnancy, and also I'm strictly following the rules of what you're allowed and not allowed to eat - no deli meat, no tuna, no nitrates, very limited caffeine, no soft cheeses, etc.) I jokingly told her La Cabana.  La Cabana is my favorite Mexican restaurant in Santa Paula, C.A.  It's located not too far from my grandparents house and my best friend Troi and I used to go there all the time when we lived in the area.  

I never thought that it would actually happen, but they got La Cabana to cater our shower.  It was delicious and amazing.  

My mom also had my favorite cake made for us.  It's a 3 layer chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream frosting and filling.  It's a huge hit in my family and with most of my friends and it's been my birthday cake of choice for the past few years.  She had them decorate it with bunting as we intend to decorate Baby Mather's nursery with bunting.  

 

Tim, Baby Mather and I were so spoiled with gifts at our shower.  My grandpa had all the guests put their gifts in one of his John Deere wheelbarrows and they didn't even come close to fitting.  I really wish we had a photo of all of the gifts, it was that overwhelming.  

We got so many amazing things.  Our grandparents got us our travel system, our great uncle got us our swing, and Aunt Bethy got us our piano gym.  My best friend got us the sweetest organic cotton bear, and our cousin Mariah got us a whole Very Hungry Caterpillar themed gift set.  Kasey and Kelsea decided that their niece or nephew needed beach themed bath stuff since they live at the beach.  Brooke spoiled us with all of the stuff we actually need like bottles, nipples, lanolin, etc.  which as a first time mom to be I am VERY grateful for.  We also got a surprising amount of clothes which was awesome but unexpected.  Tim and I really appreciated the effort our friends and family went to to find and get cute gender neutral clothing for Baby Mather since we still don't know the sex.  I could go on and on about the gifts but it would need a whole other blog post!  Oh!  And my mama got us our baby wrap!  It's the Solly baby wrap in organic cotton and I am so excited about the possibility of baby wearing!  

The shower was also library themed so everyone brought books for Baby Mather instead of cards and now Baby Mather has quite the little starter library.  And somehow, we didn't get any duplicate books!  Tim designed this amazing invitation (sorry it's from Nicole's instagram because I don't want personal info out here on the internet.)  

He is so talented.  

Overall, we had a great shower and we are so grateful to our family and friends for all of their love and support.  An especially big shoutout to my sister for flying in from Vegas with our eleven year old nephew to throw us a shower near where we live, to my grandparents for letting us use their house, and to my super sweet Mama, who had the most amazing cake made for us and flew all the way from El Paso, TX to be there for us.  

My gorgeous best friend  

Tim, Baby Mather and I at 32 weeks pregnant