|We recently took Jack hiking for the first time in Griffith Park. |
This photograph was taken in the enclosures of the old L.A. Zoo.
So that's how it is, I guess, at least for now. I love being Jack's mama. But that also means being me. The concept of motherhood had almost convinced me that the two couldn't coexist. I try to tell my brain every day that that isn't the case. I am almost equally at home with my hair in a messy bun and wearing drool stained clothes laying on the floor of my son's nursery playing with him as I am in heels at the Masonic lodge listening to John Darnielle's musical ramblings at midnight on a Tuesday with the love of my life. As much joy as babywearing brings me, I still don't like to cuddle at night when I'm trying to sleep. No matter how hard I try, I will never be excited to change a diaper. But in the same sense, I never thought I would be so excited by a little baby boy smiling when he wakes up and sees that I'm there waiting for him and I never thought my heart would happily break into a million pieces when he then reaches up for me with both arms, eager to be in my arms once again.
So, here's to motherhood, in it's many varied and beautiful forms. May my son grow up to appreciate that his Daddy and I wrapped him onto our bodies instead of pushing him in a stroller most of the time. May he grow up to appreciate really good books (I can't help it, I'm reading him the Phantom Tollbooth already.) and more music than just little kid songs. May he understand that I do the best I can for him, that motherhood in the traditional sense doesn't come naturally to me but my love for him does. I hope he learns that his playground is the world, not just his neighborhood. I hope that he grows up to appreciate different cultures and people and food and ways of thinking other than his own. I hope he grows up openminded and kind. I hope one day he will realize that in order to be the best anything to anyone else, you have to be the best you first.
|Tim babywearing using an Ergo at Angel City Brewery in Downtown L.A.|
|Babywearing at home using Pavo Clementine|